Overcoming “Lulls” and “Lows” in The Time of Coronavirus

| May 11, 2020

(5th in an ongoing series on “Acceptance in The Time of Coronavirus“) 

I don’t know about you, but its easy for me to fall into a “lull” and “low” during The Time of Coronavirus.

Every day seems the same, yet I feel different almost every day. 

Same in the sense I have a lot of time on my hands most days and am restricted in movement, engagement, and enjoyment of what I like to do, especially playing tennis.

Different because I don’t know how I will feel until I get out of bed and begin my day.   Some days I feel calm, relaxed and productive.  Others anxious and antsy.   And unfortunately, a good night’s sleep isn’t necessarily a harbinger of positive thoughts, feelings, and energy.

And some days, like today, I feel a “lull” and “low”–and lethargic.  My body didn’t feel right this morning.   I wasn’t sure if I was coming down with something.  Who Knows? Maybe even the dreaded Covid-19.  Fear is at the forefront these days.  (See my post, “Dealing with Fear in The Time of Coronavirus”)

You may relate to what I’m talking about.   If so, I would like to share some simple things that helped me feel much better as the day progressed.    I hope they will help you, as well.

I reached out to a friend to see how he was doing. That wasn’t easy for me because I really didn’t feel like speaking to anyone. But I knew from past experience that the best way for me to get out of my head’s “negative” thinking was to see how others are doing and lend a good ear. My friend greeted me warmly and we shared some insights and “what we were doings” during The Time of Coronavirus.  We even had a few good laughs.    The conversation lightened my spirits, and then,

I took a “nature walk” around my neighborhood. It’s wonderful springtime here in California.   Why not enjoy “the beauty all around me.”  The blooming roses and irises.  The bright blue sky.  And the cheerful music of birds. Have you noticed lately that the birds seem happier than ever?  The doves even more peaceful?  And the ground squirrels playfully scampering around?

Is it possible they know something that we don’t?

Or, maybe it’s that they know “less” than we do–and are happier because of it? 

Whatever the reason, it was a real blessing to be able to share their space with them.

I’ve heard it said that we are only a guest of nature, and I welcomed the invitation.

I felt so much lighter, and then

I decided to write this post. I thought that others—maybe even you—have experienced similar lulls and lows during The Time of Coronavirus and my sharing  today’s experiences might ease their discomfort.

Quite honestly, just that thought lifted my spirits considerably.   And the actual writing—this very writing—helps me a lot.

I gain needed awareness, clarity—and acceptance. 

I encourage you try these things when you feel a lull or low.  (The writing part can be some basic journaling.) Please also share your  experiences and ideas about dealing with lulls and lows in The Time of Coronavirus. It would be helpful to me and I know others.

(You can read my earlier post, “Accepting “Lulls” and “Lows” for some other suggestions on this subject.)

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go!—and Accept “What Is!” 

Danny

*If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it on your Facebook page and share it with others.

**To help make The Gifts of Acceptance and Losing Control, Finding Serenity available to more people, I have lowered their ebook prices to $2.99

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dealing With Fear in The Time of Coronavirus

| April 20, 2020

(Second in an ongoing series, “Acceptance in the Time of Coronavirus”

The many uncertainties and unknowns of the coronavirus pandemic have heightened our fears. So many of us are engulfed in never ending “what ifs” and “what might happens”– be it our (and our loved ones’) physical and mental health, job losses, finances, or overall well-being.

These fears are formidable obstacles in being able to accept the all-encompassing “what is” of the pandemic that is necessary in order to act in our best—and safest—interests. (See my post, “How the Serenity Prayer Helps Deal with Coronavirus”)

Particularly in my business dealings, I’ve been challenged to confront the tendency in my thinking to overly focus on “Future Events Already Ruined.” (FEAR)

Hence, I worry about whether my tenants (who were mandated to cease operations) will be able to pay their rent, or at least a portion of it? Whether some will have to close shop and vacate? And so on.

While these are realistic concerns, my obsessive dwelling over them not only results in the loss of needed sleep, but to my detriment, prevents me from recognizing what steps I can take to minimize the “damage.”

That’s what fear so easily does: Freezes you in your tracks!

To avoid such paralysis, first and foremost, I have learned that I must confront and process my fears. By that, I mean address them directly, and not avoid, procrastinate or deny. (For more on these subjects, see my posts “Avoiding Avoidance” and “Letting Go of Denial”).

Here are three interrelated tools that can help process fears in the time of Coronavirus:

*Identify the Fears. In order to process your fears, you must know what they are. Many times they are known only generally because they are a master of disguise.

One of the best ways to identify this most tricky of emotions is to do a fear inquiry.

Thus, when you feel unsettled or anxious—or have shortness of breath or other physical reactions–take a moment and think about what you may be afraid of.

Is it your young children constantly getting too close to others? Your failure to wear a mask when you went to the drug store? Forgetting to wash your hands after bringing in the newspaper or mail? The possibility of being furloughed from work? Not being able to visit your elderly mother at her assisted living home? And so on. Next,

* Objectify the Fears. Take some time to separate the objective facts and truths of the underlying situations and circumstances from the hyper imagined ones. Which is to say, don’t assume, speculate or react impulsively. Instead, pause, reflect, investigate, and consult when needed.

Thus, with respect to coronavirus concerns, don’t jump to the “future events already ruined” syndrome that you or your loved ones are going to get ghastly ill, need hospitalization, not get a respirator, or ??? Instead, try to

* Stay in the Moment. Deal with what is real now, not what might happen tomorrow. Any method or format you use is fine. Disregard all the “mights” and “could bes” that only stir up your fears. Trust that you will be able to handle whatever may happen tomorrow—just like you have in the past.

Through this process, your coronavirus fears will subside.

With respect to my tenants, my fears lessened as I more fully recognized that: a) only several thus far had not paid their rent; b) I had screened them carefully for their creditworthiness; c) legislation had been passed that would help them financially; and, d) I could be more pro-active by reaching out and offering rent deferrals to those who needed it.

Are my fears over? Not by any means. Do I have others? Certainly. But when I remember to use the above tools to process my fears, their impact on my well-being—and serenity—is much, much less.

I would love to hear about how you’ve dealt with your fears during this time.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

*To help make The Gifts of Acceptance and Losing Control, Finding Serenity available to more people during the coronavirus crisis, I have lowered their ebook prices to $2.99.

**If you liked this post, please like it on your Facebook page and share it with others.

Acceptance in the Time of Coronavirus–A Series

| April 6, 2020

 “These are Times that Try Men’s Souls”

In December 1776 General George Washington and his troops were facing imminent defeat, having been driven out of New York and chased across New Jersey by the British.

Washington had been deserted by Congress and his demoralized, hungry, and ill equipped troops planned to go home in two weeks when their enlistments ran out.

In an inspired move, Washington rounded up his weary soldiers into ranks and had them listen to a stirring message written by Thomas Paine:

“These are the times that try men’s souls.  The summersoldier and sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country, but he that stands it now deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”* 

Thomas Paine’s words had a major impact on Washington’s beleaguered soldiers.   A sense of renewed commitment and sacred mission returned to their souls.

Two nights later they crossed the Delaware, caught the British mercenaries completely off guard on a groggy hangover the morning after Christmas Day.   Washington captured the whole British contingent of a thousand Hessians without a single American being killed.

The rest, as they say, is History!

We are now facing an equally precarious time in our “history”—one brought about by the unrelenting coronavirus and Covid-19 pandemic.  And many, if not most, of us are equally dreary, beleaguered, demoralized—and fear driven.

I wish I had some stirring words like Thomas Paine to arouse and inspire you.  I clearly don’t.  I suffer the same unsettling range of emotions that you likely do.

However, I know that practicing acceptance in the time of coronvirus has helped me cope with the current chaos and uncertainty.   It lightens my spirit.  It grounds me.  It balances me.  And it frees me.  (See my last post “How The Serenity Prayer Helps Deal with the Coronavirus)

From the tremendous response to that post, I am heartened to learn that it helps others as well. Daily blog visitors have increased more than tenfold.   Facebook friends and fans have shared broadly.

I cannot tell you how deeply grateful I am for that.   It makes me feel useful and being of service at a time when I so often feel helpless and powerless.

It also motivates me to do and share more about how to practice acceptance and enjoy the many “gifts” that surely follow.

I thus will be offering a short course  on “Acceptance in the Time of Coronavirus” through weekly blog posts.

I will share what I know and have experienced first hand, as well as things learned from others, about practicing acceptance–its benefits, keys, challenges, obstacles, catalysts and dynamics.

Although I have extensively written and talked about these subjects before, I will discuss them and others within the context of the coronavirus Covid-19 pandemic. I hope to do so in a personal, everyday sort of way.

Concurrent with that, I have lowered the price of the ebooks for The Gifts of Acceptance and Losing Control, Finding Serenity to $2.99, so that more people will be given the opportunity to read and hopefully learn from them.

So stay tuned for the first session!

In the meantime,

Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!” 

Danny

*From The Crisis by Thomas Paine, December 23, 1776.  His cogent essay is prescient about the politics, public panic, and other aspects of the coronavirus pandemic.

**If you like this post, please “like” it on your Facebook Page and share it with ot