Overcoming “Lulls” and “Lows” in The Time of Coronavirus

| May 11, 2020

(5th in an ongoing series on “Acceptance in The Time of Coronavirus“) 

I don’t know about you, but its easy for me to fall into a “lull” and “low” during The Time of Coronavirus.

Every day seems the same, yet I feel different almost every day. 

Same in the sense I have a lot of time on my hands most days and am restricted in movement, engagement, and enjoyment of what I like to do, especially playing tennis.

Different because I don’t know how I will feel until I get out of bed and begin my day.   Some days I feel calm, relaxed and productive.  Others anxious and antsy.   And unfortunately, a good night’s sleep isn’t necessarily a harbinger of positive thoughts, feelings, and energy.

And some days, like today, I feel a “lull” and “low”–and lethargic.  My body didn’t feel right this morning.   I wasn’t sure if I was coming down with something.  Who Knows? Maybe even the dreaded Covid-19.  Fear is at the forefront these days.  (See my post, “Dealing with Fear in The Time of Coronavirus”)

You may relate to what I’m talking about.   If so, I would like to share some simple things that helped me feel much better as the day progressed.    I hope they will help you, as well.

I reached out to a friend to see how he was doing. That wasn’t easy for me because I really didn’t feel like speaking to anyone. But I knew from past experience that the best way for me to get out of my head’s “negative” thinking was to see how others are doing and lend a good ear. My friend greeted me warmly and we shared some insights and “what we were doings” during The Time of Coronavirus.  We even had a few good laughs.    The conversation lightened my spirits, and then,

I took a “nature walk” around my neighborhood. It’s wonderful springtime here in California.   Why not enjoy “the beauty all around me.”  The blooming roses and irises.  The bright blue sky.  And the cheerful music of birds. Have you noticed lately that the birds seem happier than ever?  The doves even more peaceful?  And the ground squirrels playfully scampering around?

Is it possible they know something that we don’t?

Or, maybe it’s that they know “less” than we do–and are happier because of it? 

Whatever the reason, it was a real blessing to be able to share their space with them.

I’ve heard it said that we are only a guest of nature, and I welcomed the invitation.

I felt so much lighter, and then

I decided to write this post. I thought that others—maybe even you—have experienced similar lulls and lows during The Time of Coronavirus and my sharing  today’s experiences might ease their discomfort.

Quite honestly, just that thought lifted my spirits considerably.   And the actual writing—this very writing—helps me a lot.

I gain needed awareness, clarity—and acceptance. 

I encourage you try these things when you feel a lull or low.  (The writing part can be some basic journaling.) Please also share your  experiences and ideas about dealing with lulls and lows in The Time of Coronavirus. It would be helpful to me and I know others.

(You can read my earlier post, “Accepting “Lulls” and “Lows” for some other suggestions on this subject.)

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go!—and Accept “What Is!” 

Danny

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**To help make The Gifts of Acceptance and Losing Control, Finding Serenity available to more people, I have lowered their ebook prices to $2.99

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How the Serenity Prayer Helps Deal with the Coronavirus

| April 1, 2020

The Serenity Prayer* has really helped me in dealing with the severe impact of the coronavirus and I hope it can help you as well.

Every day it becomes more clear how powerless—and helpless–we are over so many aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic and its impact on our lives.  Jobs and financial losses, business closures, the heavy burdens on parents from school closures, food and supply shortages, and the strict physical and social constraints, including separation from our loved ones.  The vast suffering by so many is heart wrenching and immense.

The Serenity Prayer teaches us that the more we are able to accept our “powerlessness” over (and inability to change) such tragic circumstances, the more serenity we will have in our lives.  It is extremely difficult and challenging, to be sure.  We feel helpless by our lack of power and control.  However, even partial or intermittent acceptance is beneficial.  (I explore these subjects in depth in my books, The Gifts of Acceptance and Losing Control, Finding Serenity.)

Yet, it is the very acceptance of “what is” that is key to mitigating the hardships and vast changes in our lives brought about by the coronavirus.  Indeed,

Acceptance can transport us from despair to hope and even joy.

How?

As I have repeatedly expressed in my speaking and writings on the control and acceptance dynamics, with acceptance comes a critical shift in focus–from what we can’t control or change to what we can.

This shift empowers us.

It does so by expanding our vision—substantially so.  We become much more aware of things and areas in which we do have power and control, and that in turn reduces our stress, anxiety, and despair.  We no longer feel so stuck and mired in negativity.

This is the very essence (and encouragement) of the second line of the Serenity Prayer: “The courage to change the things we can.”

Hence, just as we are unnerved by the things we are powerless over, we are empowered by the things we do have power to do and change—and there are many when we are freed to focus on them.

Acceptance gives us that freedom

I encourage you to explore and embrace your “powers.”  Be creative, open—and courageous.  Here are a few I have personally enjoyed during this time.

*Tending to the “little” things that I didn’t have time for before: gardening, organizing my closet, drawers, and files; cleansing and ridding the house of unneeded and unused “extras”; strolling in the neighborhood, admiring the natural beauty all around me, and saying “hello” to neighbors on different streets I hadn’t yet met; reconnecting with friends I hadn’t talked to in a long time; and drawing and painting.

*Enjoying my wife’s healthy home cooked meals.

*Listening to informative and humorous podcasts and participating in online virtual meetings and get togethers through Zoom.

*Re-reading some favorite books and enjoying them even more.

*Face timing with my 96 year old mom, whom I am unable to visit because of the mandated lock down in her assisted living home.

*Being more aware of, and grateful for, the many blessings I have in my life, including a loving family, good friends, blue skies and sunny days, good health, and much more.

*Learning more about what’s truly important to me and what changes and additions I would like to make once the crisis subsides and hopefully passes.

These powers have brought me unexpected pleasure, comfort, and balance during this trying time.   Most were inspired by my daily reciting and applying the tenets of The Serenity Prayer. (See my post, “Optimizing the Benefits of the Serenity Prayer.”)

I hope you have benefited from discovering your own “powers.”  Please share them with me and others.  We are all in this powerful storm together and let us weather it together by supporting and helping one another.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!” 

Danny

* “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and

The wisdom to know the difference.”

**If you enjoyed this post, please share it on your Facebook page and with your friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Optimizing The Benefits of The Serenity Prayer

| August 12, 2019

The Serenity Prayer* is my guide to practicing acceptance in all my affairs.   It is a prayer for acceptance that allows me to be more fully aware, from the very start of my day, of the vast number of things I cannot control or change, and it reminds me that my very serenity depends on my willingness to accept them as they are.

I devote a chapter in The Gifts of Acceptance on ways to effectively apply the three poetic phrases of the Prayer.   For many, the last phrase, “The Wisdom to Know the Difference,” is the most challenging one in practice.

Specifically, how do we know whether we do or do not have the power to change or control a person or situation?   

The determination is frequently difficult. Strong emotions—fear and anger, for example—as well as high expectations easily thwart our intentions to realistically consider whether the issue is something over which we truly have power.   Denial, too, can impact the determination because of our ignorance or unawareness of (or unwillingness) to accept the underlying reality of the situation.

The requisite wisdom often comes only after enduring the hard, painful consequences of ongoing non-acceptance.  The pains of non-acceptance will likely occur at different times for each of us because there will always be things and people we aren’t able to accept—at least initially.

Here are two ways that will help you with the wisdom to know the difference and thereby optimize the benefits of The Serenity Prayer:

Pause and Reflect 

When first faced with contentious issues or people, take a moment (or as some say, “pause”) to consider whether you can realistically expect to change matters.   Try not to react impulsively or retaliate.   Fear and anger often emerge, and it is important to constructively process these emotions as soon as you are able.    Try to remember the acronym for FEAR: Future Events Already Ruined.

Pausing and reflecting in this manner will ground you and enable you to better evaluate what is really at stake and its importance, and that in turn will allow you to address the situation or person in a more constructive, responsive manner.

Consider Whether You Can Meaningfully Impact the Person or Situation 

Even if you feel you can change or have some impact on the matter or person, consider whether any success is worth the cost and energy—and anguish.

What I have found extremely helpful in uncertain situations is to ask myself “Can I have any meaningful impact on the person or situation?”  If I don’t think I can, I accept the current situation or circumstance and move on.   Similarly, it is also helpful to ask oneself, “How important is this to me?”

Remember, not everything is a crisis, but anything can become one if you fail to let go of control and accept “what is.”

Please share with me what you have found helpful in determining whether or not you have the power to change certain people or things in your life, giving specific examples if you can.

In the meantime,

Let It Go—and Accept “What Is.” 

….and Let’s Help Make Acceptance Go Viral!

Danny

*”God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change,

Courage to Change the Things I Can, and

The Wisdom to Know the Difference.”

**If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it on your Facebook page and share it with your friends.