poetry Archives - Daniel Miller

For me, composing poems encompasses letting go of control, particularly in the sense of not overthinking and overanalyzing them.

I begin with my intention and then jot down words and phrases that evoke that intention, not really concerning myself where they may eventually fit, or whether I will even use them.

I then put these short sketches away—literally and mentally—sometimes for several months. When I later take a fresh look at them, I usually revise and expand them. As this process continues, I am careful not to presss for completion. I trust that the right words and structure will be revealed in due course.

The process is very much akin to planting a seed (of thought or intention), watering it from time to time, and letting it bloom in its own time and way.

The following love poem written in celebration of my marriage to my wife, Sigute, over fifteen years ago evolved in this manner. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did in writing it.*

FIRST LOVE

Not earlier loves,
Forged by expectant young hearts
And minds more lustful
Than wise.

Where changes came fast,
But few as one.
And where our child’s past
Fogged our marital screens.

Not loves where souls still searched,
And hearts still yearned.
Where vulnerable bruises
Went unheeded with loud cries.

No, I speak of a love more wise,
Between two people more whole.
One graced with clear vision
And teachings from mistakes past.

A love that honors thy self,
As much as the union.
That lightens the spirit,
And inspires the mind.

One whose pillars are trust and respect,
And mortar truth and honesty.
And whose greener grass
Lies within its fence.

Yes, I speak of a Love
Where souls dance with grace,
And where full hearts and warm bodies
Securely embrace.

This Love of which I speak
Is…Last Love.
This Love of which I speak
Is…First Love.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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*You may read more of my poems here

COPYRIGHT 2010 BY DANIEL A. MILLER
The above poem can not be copied, altered, reproduced, or published without the prior express written consent of Daniel A. Miller. However, you are free to share them with your friends with proper accreditation! Thank you for respecting these creative rights.

When I recently contacted a dear friend from much earlier days in my life to tell her about the publication of Losing Control, Finding Serenity, the book’s notion of our constant need to control struck a very strong chord in her. After telling me how my description of myself 30 years ago so perfectly described her as well (a life consumed with “gripping fear, obsessive worry, anger and rage—and my unrelenting compulsion to try to control everything and everyone”) she shared with me a fascinating fear based control story.

While on a moving gurney for cancer surgery with unknown outcomes she was actually negotiating with the anesthesiologist at the last minute about how long she was going to be “out” because the loss of control was what she feared most about the surgery. That really confirmed to me once more how huge an impact fear has on our controlling behaviors.

Fear Controls

Fear is the predominant cause and source of our need to control. That is why I named the chapter in my book on fear “Fear: Control’s Best Friend”. We are fearful of the unknown and the unexpected and are consumed with “what ifs” and “what might happens”, as my friend’s experience so aptly illustrates. At our very core, we are fearful of our very survival. This propels us to grip and hold on tightly in our efforts to find safety and security in an inherently insecure world. Not once do we consider, however, that the more we strive for security the more insecure we become.

Losing Fear

We need to lose fear in order to lose control. To do this effectively it is important to separate the real facts from the dramas that our emotions script with respect to our unsettling concerns. The real facts are rarely as foreboding as our imaginations make them to be. Once we unemotionally examine the real facts, our fears will begin to diminish, and with that our need to control.

It is also extremely important to confront and process our fears. In my book, I call this “face and embrace” and provide examples and true case histories. For now you can start by practicing what the following lines from my poem Fictions’s Best Seller encourage you to do:

“Yet…truly a coward until masked

Stare its stare

Deflect its glare

Strip it bare.”

I would love to hear how these fear decontrol tools work for you.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it on your Facebook page and share it with others.

Writing Love Poems by Letting Go of Control

2 Keys to Letting Go of Fear