The Wave: Navigating Life’s Currents

| November 10, 2021


I wanted to acquaint you with a new book I am writing.   Its title is The Wave: Navigating Life’s Currents.

The mystery, randomness, and freeness of ocean waves  (high and low tides, riptides and undertows, crests, swells, murky waters, etc.) serve as a metaphor for an expansive life path that closely parallels surfing or riding waves.

The book explores how we can meaningfully navigate the currents in all aspects of our lives—work, love, friendships, parenting, aging, sports and performance, and creative endeavors, and enjoy the many gifts that follow.

Formidable wave “barriers” such as control, judgment, fear, denial, high expectations, limited thinking, and unclear boundaries are examined together with wave “enhancers” such as trust, acceptance, humility, and intuition.

Below is an excerpt from The Wave.  I welcome your comments, suggestions, and experiences about riding the wave.

If you wish to be kept abreast of the book’s progress and receive future excerpts, please email info@losingcontrolfindingserenity.com

And remember to,

Let It Go-and Accept “What Is!” 

Danny

………………………….

THE WAVE

” When you observe nature for any period, you can sense the presence of a natural process or rhythm.  You may notice it in the way leaves fall from a tree, gently floating down to form eloquent patterns on the grass.  Or as I first did, watching the way ocean waves build, crest, flow and change course in an endless variety of movements.

At such moments, we sense that the life force or energy we are experiencing is unpredictable and unknowable yet has an innate and vast intelligence all its own, one well beyond our capacity to understand.

We also realize that, as mysterious as this universal rhythm is, we are a part of it.

I refer to this rhythm as the Wave or life’s currents.  It is intrinsically truthful and cannot be controlled or manipulated.  It just “is”, and though it may feel ancient, it is always present.

There is a noticeable cohesiveness to it; a harmony of co-existence; a wisdom and mystery waiting to be discovered.

Ralph Waldo Emerson poetically described this rhythm of truth as:“There is a guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word…Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into you as life…then you are without effort impelled to truth, to right and a perfect contentment.”

Before that day at the beach many years ago, I had no inkling of such a guidance.   I had been too engulfed in futile battles and engagements.

Today I feel the comfort of its presence when I sit in my back yard early mornings, listening to the cheerful medleys of song birds and the cooing of doves, watching the branches of my magnificent olive tree gently swaying as they reach toward the sky, and the ground squirrels scampering around its limbs.

Indeed, I feel it in the stillness and solitude of nature most anywhere; when I hug an oak tree; inhale the strong  aroma of eucalyptus leaves; or watch colorful humming birds darting from flower to flower.

I also feel it most of the time when I’m painting or channeling verses that occasionally lead to poems.

I have come to learn that the more I am able to live my life in harmony with this natural rhythm, or ride the Wave, the more I am able to discover solutions to my most pressing and troubling concerns and enjoy the unplanned, spontaneous moments in life and marvel at the beauty all around me.

That is not to say that the rides are always smooth or easy, or without low tides and riptides.   I tumble often.   The difference now is that it is not for as long or as severe because I am more aware of how and why I slipped and have learned some ways to return.

Like Emerson, I believe “there is a guidance for each of us.” It is up to me to lowly listen and place myself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom.  Writing this book is part of my endeavor to do that and I hope encourage readers to discover their waves.

It also is to remind me that I am not the only wave in the ocean and that I need to accept, respect, and honor the waves of others, lest I find myself “making waves!”

As expressed earlier, for me the metaphor that comes closest to the vision of aligning with this natural rhythm are ocean waves.  The mystery, randomness, and freeness of waves closely parallel the expansive life path I am seeking.

Think about bodysurfing in the challenges you face.  There will be a great variety of waves, some building up quickly and crashing mightily, others cresting more gradually and lasting longer.  Some will simply vanish.   Many will change course.

We have no control or influence on their patterns, paths, and frequencies; we can only be patient and alert as we await them.

As soon as one crests near us, we extend our arms, swim a few strokes, and try to glide with it.  We make adjustments along the way, if needed.  If we encounter turbulence, which we often will, we can protect ourselves; for example, wrapping our hands around our head if we are forcefully thrown asunder, or pulling out of the currents or diving beneath the waves.

Much of the time, though unpredictable, the ride will be smoother and often enjoyable, and at times even exhilarating.  And the lows not as severe or as long.

In a similar vein, consider how experienced surfers engage and ride waves.   First, they patiently observe how the waves are building and developing near them; when they sense there may be a good–and safe—one to ride, they paddle toward it, aligning their boards with the cresting wave; if it looks too strong or dangerous, they pull out and wait for another; if it looks good, they quickly paddle some more, hop on their board, and begin their ride.

Surfers accept that the waves, and not they, are in control; that they can easily be sent flying off their boards into crashing waters if they resist their flow.  They know, however, that they can enjoy exhilarating rides by aligning, and gliding, with the waves.

It is easy to discern the practices and attitudes that are essential for skillfully and safely surfing or riding waves: awareness, observation, acceptance, patience, humility, trust, instincts and intuition, and the willingness to surrender or let go of control.

It’s not as easy to discern the practices and attitudes that obstruct riding waves: control, arrogance, high expectations, judgment, denial, limited thinking, and fear.

We will see in the pages ahead that the very same factors, or wave “enhancers”and “barriers,” strongly impact how we  navigate our currents in work, love, friendships, parenting, aging, sports and performance, and creative endeavors.”

END OF EXCERPT

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Finding Serenity

| July 2, 2011

As the author of Losing Control, Finding Serenity, I am sometimes asked what I mean by “serenity.”

I realize that serenity means different things to different people.    For many, it means peace and tranquility.   For others, it means harmony.    I’ve also heard some people express that it simply means being comfortable in their “own skin.”

As I use it in my book and writings, I intend it to mean all these things—and more.   It is an expansive term;  one that viscerally evokes a core sense of “well being” and freedom and contentment.

“Serenity” thus encompasses  all of these positive feelings and states of being.

An instrumental way in which we can have greater serenity in our lives is by giving up control—particularly those types and forms of control triggered by our strong emotions such as fear, anxiety, resentment and anger.

More specifically, losing control leads to conditions that result in greater serenity. For example, it reduces stress and anxiety;  lessens our worries; fosters intimacy and bonds with loved ones, family and friends; expands our creative horizons; and, increases efficiency and productivity–and enjoyment–at work.

That is why so much of my writings in this blog, as well as in my book, is devoted to exploring  methods and ways (“decontrol tools”) in which we can lose control in such vital areas of our lives as parenting, family, intimate relations,  friendships, work and creative endeavors.   Even the short cue at the end of my posts is one such way.

In the meantime, remember

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!

 

Danny

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Losing Control, Finding Flow

| June 17, 2011

We often hear people talk about “going with the flow” when discussing  how they intend to deal with important issues and challenges in their lives.   I think for most, that means they wish to engage matters as they naturally arise, without forcing or resisting.

However, what we hear very little about is how we can actually do it.

I would like to share some ways that have allowed me to access the  flow state, which, for me, is that state of grace where things seem to come to us—almost effortlessly–rather than we to them; where openness and freedom of thought and ideas spring forth almost magically; and where we are aware and grounded.

The Wave

Following a very difficult period of my life twenty-five years ago (and well  before I thought about writing my current book) I began exploring and writing about the idea of being able to glide within “life’s natural currents.”

The metaphor that came closest to the vision of a peaceful life I desired was riding ocean waves.

I thought of there being a great variety of waves, some building up quickly and crashing mightily, others cresting more gradually and lasting longer.  Some  simply vanishing .  Many changing course.  We have no influence on their patterns, paths, and frequencies; we can only be patient and alert as we await them.  As soon as one crests near us, we can extend our arms, swim a few strokes, and glide with it.  If we encounter turbulence, which we always will, we can find ways to protect ourselves.

I even coined my own nautical parlance, such as  “go with the Wave”,  “ride the Wave”, “navigate the currents” and “float with the swells”.  Just verbalizing it in this manner was (and is) very soothing to me.

Indeed, the Wave has played such an important part in improving my life that I included it as the final chapter of Losing Control, Finding Serenity.

Losing Control

I learned that the best way to access the Wave is by letting go of control.   I thus explored effective, practical ways—which I now call “decontrol tools”—that enabled me to more easily let go of control in such vital areas as parenting,  family and friends,  love and romance,  my creative endeavors and at work.   I even found effective ways to do it with my favorite past time, tennis.  I write about these decontrol tools in depth in my book, as well as in this blog.

Finding Flow

Simply put, when you lose control, you find flow.

When you let go of control, it frees life’s “natural currents” and you can then participate in those those currents in an expansive and intuitive manner and discover life’s possibilities.   I quickly learned that the rewards are often unexpected and remarkable.   Turmoil and conflict disappear.  Intimacy and bonds with friends, family and loved ones strengthen significantly.     Fears and worries leave us.    And work becomes less stressful and more profitable.

I encourage you this week to start letting go of control and enjoy life’s flow!

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Charm and the Flow of Life

| April 12, 2011

One of the unexpected joys of writing this blog is my learning from the insights and wisdoms of others who are similarly seeking a state of grace in which we feel grounded, aware, and at peace.

What I find enlightening are the different ways that each individual seeks his or her own spiritual paths to guide them.

The Folly of Excessive Control

In my case, my journey focuses on trying to avoid excessive control and accept life as it is.    I explain it as follows in Losing Control, Finding Serenity:

“Life is in a constant state of motion: fluid, shifting, always moving.  As such, it is impossible to hold onto it—and that is precisely what controlling actions attempt to do.  The result is much the same as if you tried to grab on to a rapidly moving conveyor built, for example; you may slow it down momentarily, but you ultimately get burned or dragged along! Consequently, when we control excessively, we are attempting to alter life’s moving currents and rhythm.   When we do this, we are unable to see the options and make the choices that would significantly improve our lives, emotionally, spiritually, creatively, and financially.”

When we let go of control, we free life’s “natural currents,” allowing us to engage those currents in an intuitive and expansive manner.  You become more aware of the wonders all around you, and your spirit shines brighter and lighter.

The Wisdom of Charm

Jeff Kober,  an experienced Vedic Meditation teacher, expresses similar sentiments somewhat differently in these eloquent words about the wisdom of Charm:

“ Someone asked: what is this “charm” you speak of? as in, “We pay attention to the subtle tug of charm, allowing ourselves to be led.”

“Some would call it “the still, small voice.” Intuition. Conscience. There is a flow of life, of nature, within the oneness. Like a river, like the wind, there are currents and crosscurrents, subtle shifts of direction. These hold the information that can guide us through our days. By paying attention to this information, we align ourselves with the flow of evolution. By following evolution, life feels right. We can live our life based upon this feeling of rightness, rather than on ideas of what we should or shouldn’t be doing, who we think we’re supposed to be….

“Following charm is not magical thinking. It is paying attention to what nature would have me do, rather than what my ideas and opinions, my hopes and fears, would have me do. We pay attention to charm with the idea that, as individual expressions of nature, it just makes sense to align ourselves with its flow, and by aligning ourselves with this flow, we are guaranteed to end up where we’re meant to be.

“Today I will allow that there is a flow in nature that I have access to, and I will open myself to feeling it.”(The complete passage can be read here)

The Flow of Life

Although one’s spiritual paths may vary and be expressed or articulated in different ways, I believe there is a universal commonality in our journeys to find grace and harmony.   An important element of that journey is our striving to live within, and align ourselves with, the natural flow of life.   And although the daily challenges and struggles we face as parents, lovers, friends and workers impede us,  I have found that even fleeting moments of gliding with the “flow of life” make the effort all worthwhile.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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