Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

Q: How does our need to control stiffen life’s possibilities? 

A:   When we focus too intently on trying to control or change people and things we are putting “blinders” on our selves, and literally can’t see the options and opportunities that are before us.  We are too closed-minded and not open to new ideas and ways of doing things.

Life is in a constant state of motion; fluid, shifting, changing, always moving.   As such, it is impossible to hold on to it—and that is precisely what controlling actions attempt to do.   The result is much the same as if you tried to grab on to a rapidly moving conveyor belt; you may slow it down temporarily, but you would ultimately get burned or dragged along!

So let go of control and expand life’s possibilities!

Questions to Ponder: 

Q: “Have you ever felt the freedom and lightness of ‘going with the flow?’”

Q:  “Was there a sense of ‘letting go’ associated with it?”

Please share your responses with me and others!

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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The Trust—Control Dynamic

Many of us have trust issues and are control freaks. Have you ever thought about the connection or dynamic between control and trust? Or more specifically, about how trust impacts our ability to let go of control? To be truthful, I hadn’t given it much thought until I read and successfully applied a tennis strategy called “Trust Your Body” in Jeff Greenwald’s insightful tennis book, The Best Tennis of Your Life.

As an avid seniors tennis player, I struggled to play up to my ability in tournament match play.  I was constantly over-thinking, too cautious, and unable to maintain sustained focus. Before playing in a big tournament in Palm Springs last month, I read a statement in Jeff’s book that really resonated with me:

“Letting go of control, trusting your shots, and accepting the outcome is imperative if you are going to ever play with true freedom on the court.”

I tried that in the tournament and beat several players who had soundly beat me a year earlier, before losing to the #1 seed in the semi-finals.  By trusting that my body and mind could work things out instinctively without all my “help,” I was able to let go of control and enjoy the wins that followed.

Upon reflection, it occurred to me that what applies to sports performance, applies equally to just about everything in life and that,

There is a powerful dynamic between trust and our ability to let go of control.

Trust and Let Go of Control

Here are some core truths about that dynamic.

  • The more we trust that we—or others or things—will be okay without our concerted effort, the less we feel the need to control them or the outcome.
  • A primary reason we try to control or over manage our life or that of others is that we lack trust that things will work out naturally by themselves.
  • When we trust and let go of control, we reduce our stress and anxiety, creating space for greater calmness and serenity.
  • When we trust and let go of control, we are able to engage and respond intuitively to “life’s natural currents”—the flow of life, if you will—thereby creating new opportunities and choices that can transform our lives.

Try These Two Things This Week

1. If you find yourself over-thinking situations or pressing matters too much, pause and say to yourself:  “Trust that everything will work out as it was intended to be.”

2. If you find yourself obsessing or worrying too much about someone—your child or love one, for instance—take a moment and say to yourself: “I trust that they will make the choices that are best for them.”

What is your view of the connection between control and trust?  Are you able to trust and let go?  What happens when you do?  Please share your experiences with me on this very important subject.

Click here to learn more about control freaks and find tools for eliminating control issues.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go!

Danny

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Control and Impermanence

One of the illusions about control is that many of us believe we can significantly alter or impact the natural flow of things, or as I like to say, “life’s natural currents.” This is why our friends or loved ones may refer to us as control freaks.

I write about the folly of control in Losing Control, Finding Serenity.  In short,

The more we try to control others and things, the less control we really have over them.

That delightful philosopher, Alan Watts, forms the issue so eloquently in The Wisdom of Insecurity (Vintage Books, 1953), when he states,

“It must be obvious, from the start, that there is a contradiction in wanting to be perfectly secure in a universe whose very nature is momentariness and fluidity….”

This fundamental truth is expressed in different ways.  Dr. Brad Zebrack, an Associate Professor at University of Michigan School of Social Work and a cancer survivor, speaks of it in terms of the impermanence of life.  In a recent Huffington Post he writes,

“We wake each morning and count on the permanence of our surroundings.  Our spouse or partner.  Our parents.  Our children…A morning cup of coffee or afternoon tea.  The routines that get us through the day.  This is called “taking life for granted.”   Yet, impermanence surrounds us.”

Dr. Zebrack then explains how cancer survivors learn to experience the “realities of impermanence” and the importance of letting go of what they want and instead embracing  “what is.”  With little certainty in their world, they can only control such things as how they engage the world and how they claim their own story and ultimately themselves.

Yet, isn’t this true for all of us?

In a world that is in a constant state of flux, isn’t the only thing we really have meaningful control over is ourselves—for example, how we choose to engage people and things, to act and react to what is before us, and our attitudes and beliefs? Indeed,

Are not the desire to control and being part of an impermanent world irreconcilable?

What’s your view on control and impermanence? Do you find them contradictory? Is living life as control freaks realistic or possible? Please share your thoughts and experiences with me.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

*If you enjoyed this post, please “like it” on your Facebook page and share it with your friends.

The Trust–Control Dynamic

Have you ever thought about the connection or dynamic between control and trust?   Or more specifically, about how trust impacts our ability to let go of control?  To be truthful, I hadn’t given it much thought until I read and successfully applied a tennis strategy called “Trust Your Body” in Jeff Greenwald’s insightful tennis book, The Best Tennis of Your Life.

As an avid seniors tennis player, I had struggled to play up to my ability in tournament match play.  I was constantly over-thinking, too cautious, and unable to maintain sustained focus.   Before playing in a big tournament in Palm Springs last month I read a statement in Jeff’s book that really resonated with me:

“Letting go of control, trusting your shots, and accepting the outcome is imperative if you are going to ever play with true freedom on the court.”

I tried that in the tournament and beat several players who had soundly beat me a year earlier, before losing to the #1 seed in the semi-finals.    By trusting that my body and mind could work things out instinctively without all my “help,” I was able to let go of control and enjoy the wins that followed.

Upon reflection, it occurred to me that what applies to sports performance, applies equally to just about everything in life and that,

There is a powerful dynamic between trust and our ability to let go of control.

Trust and Let Go of Control

Here are some core truths about that dynamic.

*The more we trust that we—or others or things–will be okay without our concerted effort, the less we feel the need to control them or the outcome.

*A primary reason we try to control or over manage our life or that of others is that we lack trust that things will work out naturally by themselves.

*When we trust and let go of control, we reduce our stress and anxiety, creating space for greater calmness and serenity.

*When we trust and let go of control, we are able to engage and respond intuitively to “life’s natural currents”—the flow of life, if you will—thereby creating new opportunities and choices that can transform our lives.

Try These Two Things This Week

*If you find yourself over-thinking situations or pressing matters too much, pause and say to yourself:  “Trust that everything will work out as it was intended to be.”

*If you find yourself obsessing or worrying too much about someone—your child or love one, for instance—take a moment and say to yourself: “I trust that they will make the choices that are best for them.”

What is your view of the connection between control and trust?   Are you able to trust and let go?   What happens when you do?  Please share your experiences with me on this very important subject.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

*If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it on your Facebook page and share it with your friends.

 

 

Finding Serenity

As the author of Losing Control, Finding Serenity, I am sometimes asked what I mean by “serenity.”

I realize that serenity means different things to different people.    For many, it means peace and tranquility.   For others, it means harmony.    I’ve also heard some people express that it simply means being comfortable in their “own skin.”

As I use it in my book and writings, I intend it to mean all these things—and more.   It is an expansive term;  one that viscerally evokes a core sense of “well being” and freedom and contentment.

“Serenity” thus encompasses  all of these positive feelings and states of being.

An instrumental way in which we can have greater serenity in our lives is by giving up control—particularly those types and forms of control triggered by our strong emotions such as fear, anxiety, resentment and anger.

More specifically, losing control leads to conditions that result in greater serenity. For example, it reduces stress and anxiety;  lessens our worries; fosters intimacy and bonds with loved ones, family and friends; expands our creative horizons; and, increases efficiency and productivity–and enjoyment–at work.

That is why so much of my writings in this blog, as well as in my book, is devoted to exploring  methods and ways (“decontrol tools”) in which we can lose control in such vital areas of our lives as parenting, family, intimate relations,  friendships, work and creative endeavors.   Even the short cue at the end of my posts is one such way.

In the meantime, remember

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!

 

Danny

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Losing Control, Finding Flow

We often hear people talk about “going with the flow” when discussing  how they intend to deal with important issues and challenges in their lives.   I think for most, that means they wish to engage matters as they naturally arise, without forcing or resisting.

However, what we hear very little about is how we can actually do it.

I would like to share some ways that have allowed me to access the  flow state, which, for me, is that state of grace where things seem to come to us—almost effortlessly–rather than we to them; where openness and freedom of thought and ideas spring forth almost magically; and where we are aware and grounded.

The Wave

Following a very difficult period of my life twenty-five years ago (and well  before I thought about writing my current book) I began exploring and writing about the idea of being able to glide within “life’s natural currents.”

The metaphor that came closest to the vision of a peaceful life I desired was riding ocean waves.

I thought of there being a great variety of waves, some building up quickly and crashing mightily, others cresting more gradually and lasting longer.  Some  simply vanishing .  Many changing course.  We have no influence on their patterns, paths, and frequencies; we can only be patient and alert as we await them.  As soon as one crests near us, we can extend our arms, swim a few strokes, and glide with it.  If we encounter turbulence, which we always will, we can find ways to protect ourselves.

I even coined my own nautical parlance, such as  “go with the Wave”,  “ride the Wave”, “navigate the currents” and “float with the swells”.  Just verbalizing it in this manner was (and is) very soothing to me.

Indeed, the Wave has played such an important part in improving my life that I included it as the final chapter of Losing Control, Finding Serenity.

Losing Control

I learned that the best way to access the Wave is by letting go of control.   I thus explored effective, practical ways—which I now call “decontrol tools”—that enabled me to more easily let go of control in such vital areas as parenting,  family and friends,  love and romance,  my creative endeavors and at work.   I even found effective ways to do it with my favorite past time, tennis.  I write about these decontrol tools in depth in my book, as well as in this blog.

Finding Flow

Simply put, when you lose control, you find flow.

When you let go of control, it frees life’s “natural currents” and you can then participate in those those currents in an expansive and intuitive manner and discover life’s possibilities.   I quickly learned that the rewards are often unexpected and remarkable.   Turmoil and conflict disappear.  Intimacy and bonds with friends, family and loved ones strengthen significantly.     Fears and worries leave us.    And work becomes less stressful and more profitable.

I encourage you this week to start letting go of control and enjoy life’s flow!

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Charm and the Flow of Life

One of the unexpected joys of writing this blog is my learning from the insights and wisdoms of others who are similarly seeking a state of grace in which we feel grounded, aware, and at peace.

What I find enlightening are the different ways that each individual seeks his or her own spiritual paths to guide them.

The Folly of Excessive Control

In my case, my journey focuses on trying to avoid excessive control and accept life as it is.    I explain it as follows in Losing Control, Finding Serenity:

“Life is in a constant state of motion: fluid, shifting, always moving.  As such, it is impossible to hold onto it—and that is precisely what controlling actions attempt to do.  The result is much the same as if you tried to grab on to a rapidly moving conveyor built, for example; you may slow it down momentarily, but you ultimately get burned or dragged along! Consequently, when we control excessively, we are attempting to alter life’s moving currents and rhythm.   When we do this, we are unable to see the options and make the choices that would significantly improve our lives, emotionally, spiritually, creatively, and financially.”

When we let go of control, we free life’s “natural currents,” allowing us to engage those currents in an intuitive and expansive manner.  You become more aware of the wonders all around you, and your spirit shines brighter and lighter.

The Wisdom of Charm

Jeff Kober,  an experienced Vedic Meditation teacher, expresses similar sentiments somewhat differently in these eloquent words about the wisdom of Charm:

“ Someone asked: what is this “charm” you speak of? as in, “We pay attention to the subtle tug of charm, allowing ourselves to be led.”

“Some would call it “the still, small voice.” Intuition. Conscience. There is a flow of life, of nature, within the oneness. Like a river, like the wind, there are currents and crosscurrents, subtle shifts of direction. These hold the information that can guide us through our days. By paying attention to this information, we align ourselves with the flow of evolution. By following evolution, life feels right. We can live our life based upon this feeling of rightness, rather than on ideas of what we should or shouldn’t be doing, who we think we’re supposed to be….

“Following charm is not magical thinking. It is paying attention to what nature would have me do, rather than what my ideas and opinions, my hopes and fears, would have me do. We pay attention to charm with the idea that, as individual expressions of nature, it just makes sense to align ourselves with its flow, and by aligning ourselves with this flow, we are guaranteed to end up where we’re meant to be.

“Today I will allow that there is a flow in nature that I have access to, and I will open myself to feeling it.”(The complete passage can be read here)

The Flow of Life

Although one’s spiritual paths may vary and be expressed or articulated in different ways, I believe there is a universal commonality in our journeys to find grace and harmony.   An important element of that journey is our striving to live within, and align ourselves with, the natural flow of life.   And although the daily challenges and struggles we face as parents, lovers, friends and workers impede us,  I have found that even fleeting moments of gliding with the “flow of life” make the effort all worthwhile.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Kobe Bryant Admits His Control Mentality Disrupts the Lakers

This past month has been an extremely disappointing time for the world champion Los Angeles Lakers.  They not only lost big to their prime time opponents, the Miami Heat, but to decidedly weaker teams as well.   Following a recent lopsided loss to the Memphis Grizzlies, in which Kobe Bryant tried to take control of the Laker offense by taking more than half of the team’s shots in the third quarter of the game, coach Phil Jackson charged that Kobe’s one-on-one mindset took “the rest of the guys out” of the flow of the game (Los Angeles Times Sports Section, Jan. 4, 2011)

Kobe acknowledged as much when he said, “He [Phil Jackson] was right, I totally broke the offense…”

Laker Center Pau Gasol Agrees: Kobe Took Over

Laker Center Pau Gasol effectively agrees with Jackson’s assessment of the impact on the other Lakers when Kobe tries to take over a game.   In the article Gasol states,  “I think we’re more effective and we’re more successful when our offense is balanced and everybody’s contributing.  We all know that we’re in good shape when everybody’s 10-plus points and just getting good looks because the offense will do that for you.”

Other players can’t contribute if they aren’t given the opportunity to do so—if they can’t, as they say in basketball, “get their hands on the ball”.  This point was proved again in the very next game, when shots and scoring were more evenly distributed among the players.  The Lakers beat the Detroit Pistons by over 20 points.

When You Control You Cant Flow!

One of the central themes of my new book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity (available next month), is that excessive control disrupts the flow in all areas of our lives:  love and intimacy, family, parenting, creative endeavors—and definitely in sports performance.

Why does excessive control lead to lost games, thrown matches, and major mistakes?  It’s simple:  when you control you cant flow.

The chapter of my book entitled Losing Sports Control: Gaining the Competitive Edge explains this phenomenon in detail.  The basic concept:  often when athletes press or try to do too much, they not only play poorly themselves, but they also severely impact the play of their teammates.  Controlling behaviors can go beyond limiting an athlete’s personal performance; they can hobble an entire team.

Coincidentally (or perhaps not!), the primary example I use in that chapter is the history of Kobe Bryant’s play. In my view, the other Lakers consistently play better when Kobe is willing to lose some control by not trying to do too much.  Kobe is truly a remarkable athlete, but that doesn’t always translate into wins for his team.  History shows that the Lakers win far more games when Kobe has a lot of assists!  In basketball, making assists—supporting other players instead of hogging the ball—is the epitome of letting go of control.

Tips for Giving Up Sports Control

I offered some tips for letting go of sports control in my November 3 post,  Lose Slumps by Losing Control . Here are two more effective ways to give up control and improve your athletic performance:

1.  Stay within your own game. Stay with what you do best.  When play is not going well, players often feel the urgency to do more, usually leading them to play beyond their skill levels.  Don’t make this mistake.  Over-reaching helps some of the time, but in the long run, performance usually suffers.   Staying within one’s own game is a particular dilemma for highly talented athletes like Kobe.

2.   Do What Chris Paul Does:  Sense the flow of the game. Like life, sports have their unique and unpredictable ebb and flow.  The action constantly shifts and changes.  It’s important to get a sense of the natural flow of the game.  To do this, you must not force the action.  Rather, develop the patience to wait until the “action” comes to you.  Then you can participate more naturally within your own skill set.

To me, no athlete senses the flow of a game better than New Orleans Hornets All Star point guard Chris Paul.  Paul is particularly adept at identifying what he needs to do to enhance the flow in ways favorable to his team. When he’s needed, he applies his skills almost seamlessly.   As a result, he usually plays differently from game to game and even within the same game.   Sometimes he becomes an aggressive scorer; at other times, he’s a facilitator.  He picks and chooses his moments, maximizing his performance and that of his teammates.  Chris Paul’s play is a perfect example of decontrol techniques at their most effective.

The next time you play your favorite sport, try these decontrol tools, too—and please let me know what happens.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Enhance Your Intuition by Letting Go of Control

I have found that trusting my sound intuition invariably results in my making much better life decisions—particularly with respect to those situations that involve numerous pros and cons, or in which not all the key facts are known.

Not everyone trusts their intuition, but they should; intuition is one of the more effective tools you can use to help you solve problems.

The Master Calculator

Intuition means different things to different people.   My dad refers to it as “listening to that little person inside.”  Others refer to it as following their “gut feeling” or trusting their instincts.    However you may wish to call or think of it, I firmly believe that our sound intuition is uniquely qualified to assist us in vastly improving our lives.   It is the “master calculator” that is able to solve the complex puzzles in our lives that contain pieces from different boxes.

For example, we may need to weigh the financial consequences of working fewer hours versus the joy of being able to pursue a long desired personal passion.  Or to reduce business expenses due to the weak economy, we may need to decide which employee to let go: an honest and loyal employee who has poor work habits, or a productive one who intimidates other workers.

Situations like these aren’t always clear cut and easy to resolve; it is our intuition, operating in the background, that is able to integrate and process the countervailing factors and ultimately point us toward the right choice.

Excessive Control Undermines Our Intuition

The common definition of intuition is that of making decisions based on feelings rather than facts.   It follows, then, that our intuition works best (and is most reliable) when we approach challenging decisions from a calm and grounded place.

However, our controlling actions undermine this process.  Controlling actions generate tension, anxiety, worry, conflict, and the like, interfering with our ability to trust our intuition to be “sound”—because we are not feeling sound ourselves.  Controlling a situation forces or presses the action, so that life’s natural currents are unable to flow naturally.   If we disturb this flow, we can’t observe it completely—and this disrupts our ability to make decisions based on all the options available to us.

Enhance Your Intuition by Letting Go of Control

We need to let go of control if we wish to utilize our intuition to the fullest.  In prior posts (as well as in my forthcoming book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity) I have written about the harms of over-managing our lives, and the lives of others.  I’ve also written about the remarkable benefits that follow when you are willing to let go of control in important life arenas.

I encourage you to participate in the discourse by sharing your own feelings and experiences about control.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Let Go of Control by Moderating Your Expectations

 

Many of us recognize the benefits of letting go of control and have a strong desire to do so, but struggle with it.  That’s perfectly understandable when you consider that we have been raised and have always lived in a control based world.  After all, as young children weren’t we controlled by our parents? By our teachers? And at times even by our religious leaders?  This is not to say that control is not warranted in many situations, but simply that when we have been so immersed in it throughout our lives, we feel uncomfortable and insecure without it.

It thus is a tremendous challenge to begin letting go of control—particularly with those matters and concerns that are most important to us. (Ironically, it is those areas in which losing control would be most beneficial!) As I stated in my introductory blog post, a primary reason for this blog is to provide (and engage in an intercourse about) effective tools and tips for letting go of control.  So let’s start with the first one:

Moderate Your Expectations.

High Expectations Fuel Controlling Actions

We all have expectations.  They are a natural part of our desire for a better and more content life.   We expect our friends and family to act kindly and responsibly toward us and others.  We expect our work to provide us with  certain security and benefits.  We expect our children to perform well in school; our teachers to be competent; and our leaders to govern fairly.  And so on.

The problem arises when our expectations become unrealistically high.  High expectations fuel controlling actions.  When we expect too much of people and things, it inevitably leads to disappointment followed by control actions.  When people don’t act or respond the way we want or expect them to, we try hard to change them.  We become critical, judgmental, demanding—even threatening.

High expectations impact all areas of our lives: work, family, friendships, sports, performance, to name a few key ones.  I will try to address these areas in future posts, but for now let’s consider the impact of control on our creativity.   When you have high expectations about a creative work or piece, whether it be a painting, a music composition, a script—-even cooking a gourmet meal—it induces you to over think, become anxious, and try too hard for perfection.  These types of controlling actions severely obstruct the creative process.  Things stop jelling and flowing naturally, you stop acting intuitively, and your piece suffers.  As a painter, I have had many paintings that started out great, after which I raised my expectations, only to have them falter as I pressed to maintain their high level.

Set Realistic Expectations

Consequently, you need to set realistic goals and expectations  if you wish to reduce the urge to control.  Doing so goes a long way toward saving you and those around you from undue pressure, demands, and stress.  Similarly, do not expect too much of yourself, either.  When you do, you will start pressing and forcing the action, thereby disrupting the natural flow of events.

One effective way to set realistic expectations is simply to ask yourself whether your perceived need or desire is that important in the overall scheme of things.  Most of the time it is not. It is also helpful to keep reminding ourselves that life (and thus people, occurrences and events) is constantly moving, shifting, and ebbing and flowing, and hence it is not wise to rely too much on people acting or things turning out the way we would like.

Finding Your Hidden Treasures

I would like to close with a short passage from my forthcoming book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity:

“I carry in my wallet a wise statement from a Chinese fortune cookie I opened many years ago.  It reads, ‘You will find hidden treasures where least expected.’ Think about that for a moment.  If you expect less, you control less—and find more.  Conversely, when you expect more, you control more—and find less.”

In the meantime,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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How to Let Go and Lose Control: An Introduction to the DeControl Yourself Blog

Daniel A Miller author

As I have begun sharing and speaking about the benefits of giving up control, it has been especially rewarding that my message has resonated so strongly with people.  I have found that so many people are ready to let go.  Quite simply, they recognize that their controlling methods and devices haven’t served them well, particularly in our increasingly complex world.

The goal of this “Decontrol Yourself” blog is to expand that message to others by creating what I hope will become a participatory forum and discourse about the many facets of the control dynamic.  In particular, this blog will:

a) Examine the harms of excessive control in vital life arenas—particularly parenting and family, intimate relations, friendships, the work place, and creative endeavors;

b) Offer effective tools and techniques for reducing the need and compulsion to control; in other words, teach you how to lose control;

c) Share the unexpected and often remarkable personal and professional rewards that occur when we are able and willing to lose some control.

Are You a Controller?

The type of control that we will address on the Decontrol Yourself blog is excessive or domineering control.  This “Are You a Controller?” quiz will help you determine if you suffer from this type of control issue.

Generally speaking, the need to control people and situations most often comes from our unwanted and unprocessed feelings (or “Personal Truths”) such as fear, worry, anxiety, anger and resentment, insecurity, rejection, and the like.

On this blog, I will try to be as specific as I can be in addressing important control issues and in recommending strategies that will diminish the urge to control.  As part of this process, I will share my own personal experiences with the powerful control dynamic, as well the stories of others I know and have counseled.

In this first post, however, I wish to share my core beliefs as they impact control.

Core Beliefs

The first is that life is in a constant state of motion: fluid, shifting, changing directions, ebbing and flowing, and always moving.  As such, it is impossible to hold on to it—yet that is precisely what controlling actions attempt to do.

Imagine you’re trying to hold on to a rapidly moving conveyor built.  You may slow it down momentarily, but you would either get burned or dragged along in the process.  These “rope burns” are the side effect of trying to slow down or manipulate life, and I will explore them (and how to avoid them) in future posts.

Secondly, we cannot change or control others in any meaningful way.  All the effort and energy we expend in trying to do so, whether by reasoning, pleading, hoping, threatening, cajoling, or other controlling means, is for naught and at great cost to our own personal development and serenity.  Others can and will change, if and when they choose.

Lastly, I believe that within the natural flow or energy force of life, lie innate wisdom and the potential for inner peace, and the solutions to many of our most challenging issues. I have learned that the more I am able to live my life in accordance with the currents of this rhythm, the more peace and serenity I am blessed to have.

I have also learned many times over that the key to living in this flow is my being willing and able to relinquish control.  Releasing control frees the currents and offers us the opportunity to glide intuitively, creatively, and spiritually within them.

Are You Ready to Let Go?

Thank you for your visit today.  I encourage you to subscribe to my RSS feed or sign up to receive my posts by email.  Future posts on the Decontrol Yourself blog will explore effective tools and strategies for letting go of control.  I’ll also share the many benefits that you will enjoy when you do.

Take it Easy,

Danny Miller
Author, Losing Control, Finding Serenity:  How the Need to Control Hurts Us And How to Let It Go