A Valuable Key to a Healthier Heart

| September 15, 2017

When my doctor checked my pulse and blood pressure at a recent physical exam, my pulse was only 47—well below the 60-80 norm—and my blood pressure was a healthy 98/68.  Admittedly, I exercise regularly, but leaving the doctor’s office I wondered whether that alone would account for such good readings—especially for a 70 year old.

It then occurred to me that the readings might also be attributable to the fact that I am now much better at letting go of control in important areas of my life (work, children, loved ones, friends and the like).

In other words, could letting go of control be a valuable key to a healthier heart?

I believe it is.  Medical research and studies confirm that our hearts are adversely impacted by excessive stress, worry, fear, and anger.

And, quite simply:

*When we control less, we stress less;

*When we control less, we worry less;

*When we control less, we fear less; and,

*When we control less, we resent less.

If this all seems too “non-scientific” to you, I encourage you to try the following:

Let Go of Control Heart Test

1.  In the morning or evening of the first day, measure your blood pressure and pulse.

2.  For the next three days, endeavor to let go of control the best you can at work, with your children, close relationships, and troublesome concerns.  Don’t pressure, force, resist—or persist.  Just accept, allow, trust and let be.  I understand that this may not be easy—especially if you have the propensity to be a controller. The key is to simply try your best.   It’s a matter of progress, not perfection. Striving for perfection induces control-based actions. *To assist yourself, try some of the Decontrol Tips and Tools described in my posts in that category at the right column of this page.

3.  After three days, again measure your blood pressure and pulse at about the same time that you did on the first day.

4.  Finally, do the simple math to determine if and/or how much your pulse and blood pressure have improved.

This Test is a No Lose Proposition

Admittedly, there can be many unaccounted for variables that impact your results.

However, you have nothing to lose by taking the test—and here’s why:

Even if the results are not conclusive, I am quite confident that you will have less stress, worry, fear, and anger—and more peace and serenity!

These and other benefits will increase further as you become better and better at letting go of control.   It definitely takes commitment and practice—and at times courage—but it is well worth the effort.   Eventually, letting go of control will become a more natural, intuitive way of living and engaging people and things.

I would love to hear how your heart test went.   Were your pulse and blood pressure lower?  Did you have less stress and anxiety?  Were the decontrol days more enjoyable?

Here’s to your healthier heart!

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go–And Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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The Control—Misery Link

| July 18, 2017

Control freaks beware—those controlling tendencies can create misery in your life.

A friend recently shared, “The more I try to control things in my life, the more miserable I become.  In fact, the misery in my life is directly proportional to how much I try to control things.”

I, of course, knew how excessive control impacts my serenity, but never heard it expressed in quite that way. As I thought about it further, I realized there is indeed a direct link between control and “misery.” Let me explain why.

When we try to control or change others, it breeds anger and resentment because we are not accepting them as they are. In effect, we are telling them they are doing things “wrong” or are not “good enough.” That, in turn, impedes trust, openness and connection, particularly with our loved ones and close relationships.  They are less willing to share with us; to confide in us; and yes, to like and love us. We thus become removed and isolated, even lonely.

That’s not all. Control freaks actually experience stress due to these tendencies. We easily become stressed from devoting so much time and energy to doomed endeavors. We grow frustrated at not being able to control outcomes and with the time we waste trying to. Is it then any surprise that these control-induced impediments make us “miserable?”

My friend is right:

The more controlling we are, the more miserable we will be. 

So why not start letting go of your need to control and be happier? To get you started, here are some posts on decontrol tools and strategies:

5 Key Ways to Let Go of Control in Relationships

Letting Go of Control Truths

Intentions for Letting Go of Control in 2016

Here’s to being serene instead of miserable!

In the meantime,

         Let It Go—and Accept What Is! 

         Danny

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5 Ways High Expectations Hurt You

| July 10, 2017

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity I explain how high expectations are a driving force behind our need to control our loved ones, children, friends and others. High expectations of others pressure them to do and be what we want, or what we feel is best for them. As such, we are imposing our will on them.

Have you considered how high expectations hurt you? Here are five significant ways:

  1. They create dissension in our close relationships.People resent it when we pressure them to be other than who they are or wish to be.   We are in effect telling them they are “not good enough.” This leads to resentment and dissension, thus impacting our bonds and connection with them.
  2. They divert us from pursuing our personal growth. With expectations, our focus is on others instead of where it can do us the most good: ourselves. They divert us from working on our shortcomings and enhancing our personal talents and attributes.
  3. They create unnecessary anxiety.   Expectations are results-driven. We become concerned and anxious that future events will not be as we had wanted—or expected. Moreover, unmet expectations lead to disappointment and more anxiety.
  1. They transport us from the present. Expectations assume that our well-being and happiness are dependent on future events happening in a manner that will satisfy our perceived needs.  Such linear thinking is contrary to life’s unpredictable ebb and flow (or impermanence), in which change is the only thing that is constant.  As such, expectations transport us from the only place where our needs can be truly satisfied: the present.
  1. They deny us the blessings from accepting life and people as they are. As will be made clear in my forthcoming book, The Gifts of Acceptance*, there are significant blessings when we accept life and people as they are. However, when we expect too much from others and things, we aren’t accepting of them. We are either trying to control or change them.

In addition to sharing my own and others’ acceptance stories, my new book offers effective ways in which you can moderate your expectations. For now, here are two practical posts that will help you do that:

Click here to read “How to Lower Family Expectations.”

Visit this link to read “Let Go of Control by Moderating Your Expectations.”

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go—and Accept What Is!

Danny

*You can download a preview chapter of The Gifts of Acceptance  by clicking here.

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Let Go of Anger by Acknowledging Your Part in It

| December 6, 2012

Anger usually breeds controlling actions that are harmful to others and us, whether it be harsh words, divisive actions, or retaliation.    We all too often become obsessed, possessed—and even recessed!  It is therefore important to find ways in which to defuse your anger and resentment quickly.   In this blog and in Losing Control, Finding Serenity, I offer effective tools and techniques for doing that.   One way is by accepting people for who they are and life as it is.

Another is by acknowledging your part in the anger-provoking occurrence.

No matter how “innocent” I may have felt regarding a disturbing matter, at some point I realized that I had played some part in it.

Here’s a very recent case in point.   I entered a tennis tournament in Anaheim, California, about 50 miles from where I live.    It was raining at home on the day of my 1 pm scheduled second match, so I called the tournament director at 11 am to see if it was also raining in Anaheim.   He said no, the courts were dry, and my match was still scheduled at 1 pm.    So I drove down only to find the courts wet, and with no one around.

I was very angry—actually, “fuming” better describes it—that the director hadn’t had the courtesy to call me on my cell phone to tell me that it had started raining after we had spoken earlier.   Then, as I was driving home, I thought about what I had been writing about in this very post, and considered whether I had some part in the mishap.

I quickly realized that I had.    When the rain continued after I was on the road for 15 minutes or so, I could have called the director again to see if conditions had changed at the courts—which they obviously had—and then simply returned home.

More importantly, once I recognized my part, my anger immediately subsided.

Quite often it is not easy to recognize our role in an anger-provoking occurrence.   Our anger prevents us from doing that.  It can be even more difficult to own up to it once we do, especially if an apology is warranted.

It takes real self-honesty to admit that you were at least partly responsible—but the rewards are well worth it.

You will be more compassionate and understanding of others.  Your own anger and resentment will lessen considerably.  And it will help you avoid similar occurrences in the future.

Four Ways to Acknowledge Your Part in It

The next time you find yourself upset by something that you feel was not your doing, try these four tools to help determine what part you may have played in the matter:

*Reflect or meditate on whether you had some role—even a minor one—in the events that led to your anger and resentment. Preferably, do this when the embers have cooled and you are calm—and thus more open-minded.

*If you still can’t recognize your part in the matter, do the same thing again! Sometimes it takes awhile to rein in your ego and recognize your part in what happened.   Consider whether you “pushed someone’s buttons.”  Remember, too, that it may be something that you didn’t do, such as in the example above.

*Examine your tone of voice, facial expressions and body language. You may not be aware of “signals” you send that cause others to act or react in unkind ways.   Your own anxiety may be responsible for much of what happened.

*Remove Your Ego from the Equation. Strong egos prevent us from clearly seeing situations.    They cause us to try to justify or diminish our role.   To remove ego obstructions, you must have the courage to be humble. True humility will allow you to recognize your own shortcomings.

Please let me know how these tools work for you.   Please also share any ways that have been successful for you in acknowledging your role in anger inducing events.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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How to Lower Family Expectations

| May 10, 2012

High expectations of others plant the seeds for disappointment and resentment. Whether assertive or subtle, expecting too much of others pressures them to act and be, as we want them to.

At its core, it is our attempt to control or change others.

High expectations become a double edged sword.  We become resentful when our expectations are not met, and others become resentful because we are not accepting them as they are.

And none more so than with family!

Probably because we feel more safe and “entitled” with family, our expectations are usually greater and more freely expressed.   And because we have more “history” with divisive family issues, our expectations tend to be negative ones.

A prime example is when adult children—often reluctantly, but dutifully–return home for the holidays.   They are apprehensive and expect that recurring issues from the past will be drummed up again by their parents and siblings.  My advice is:

Let go of unrealistic family expectations.

The more we can lower our family expectations, or keep them realistic, the more peace and serenity we will have and the stronger our family bonds will be.

Here are three ways you can reduce or let go of your family expectations.

*Determine what  “perceived” needs underlie your expectations. Most often, our family expectations are derived from deep needs we have, whether it be the need to be loved, accepted, or the need to “help” other members.

Consider, however, whether the need is something that others can really fulfill?

Or, as is more often the case, is it something that only you can fulfill?

Once you recognize this essential truth, your expectations will diminish, whether it be with family or others in your life.

* Be more grateful for what your family gives you. Instead of thinking about family members’ annoying traits, focus on the good things that you enjoy and appreciate about them.   Similarly, be positive and open-minded.  Don’t assume or anticipate conflict or unpleasant behavior based on past history.   Trust that you will be able to deflect or disengage from any upsetting behavior or problems that might arise.

*Accept your family for whom and how they are.  Don’t try to change family members.   No one is perfect or without flaws.   Are you?    When you accept your family as they are, it not only avoids resentment and dissension, but also strengthens family bonds.

I have come to believe that all families are to some extent “dysfunctional” and that we do not have the power to change family dynamics by ourselves.  Expecting that we can do so–usually by using controlling means—only makes matters worse.

However, we do have the power to change our own role within the family dynamic.

Making the shift from expectations to family closeness

We can choose not to expect, not to engage, not to react and not to pressure, and just be as accepting of our family as we can.   As we begin to do this, a “shift” can occur in which our family feels safer and more trusting and reacts and responds to us in a more loving manner–and therein I believe lies the best hope for bringing us the family closeness we seek and desire.

Please share with me your beliefs and experiences with family expectations and what successes you have had when you were able to lower them.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Tips for Letting Go of Stress During the Holidays

| December 8, 2011

The holiday season is a time of great stress and anxiety for most people.   We are forced to plod through heavy traffic, wade through crowded stores with too few sales clerks, incur unwanted financial burdens, and attend family gatherings fraught with unresolved issues and conflicts amongst members.

Thus, it comes as no surprise when we repeatedly hear the proverbial, “I just dread the holidays.”

I have a solution for much of your holiday anxiety:  Let Go of Control!

If you do, you will enjoy the holidays much more—or at least dread them much less!  If you are wondering how control impacts enjoyment of the holidays, let me explain.  Holiday pressures exacerbate our tendency to rush, to press, to resist, to direct, to expect, and to criticize—all tension-creating control devices.

Wouldn’t you enjoy yourself much more if you were able to take it easy and feel everything would work out okay?

You can—by letting go of control.  Here’s how.

Holiday Decontrol Tips

1.  Lower Your Expectations. Try not to expect too much of others, especially family.  As I’ve cautioned in prior posts, high expectations often lead to disappointment and resentment–and harmful control actions.  It is much better to have little or no expectations of how people will be or act.  (after all, they’re likely feeling holiday pressures themselves).  And don’t assume or anticipate conflict or discord with others based on past history and experiences.

For example, if you are concerned about sitting at the same table with your wayward brother or sister at a Chanukah or Christmas dinner, don’t make any assumptions—good or bad—about what might happen; instead, trust that you will be able to disengage (i.e., let go) from any problem that might occur, and enjoy other parts of the reunion.

2.  Be Patient. Allow holiday “currents” to progress and evolve naturally, rather than pressing for resolutions.  Life is always in a constant state of motion—shifting and ebbing and flowing—even more so during the holiday rush.  Focus on being calm and grounded, and wait for the currents to flow your way.   Then engage them intuitively, rather than forcefully.  To better do this, plan some alone time for yourself each day, whether to meditate, journal, take a short walk, or just do something fun.

3. Keep Things Simple. Don’t complicate things by over planning and over thinking.  Also, don’t fret about all the “what ifs” and “what could happens.”  Worrying only plants the seeds for those things to happen!  Instead, trust that things will work out as they were intended.  By keeping things simple you will save considerable time and energy, and reduce stress and tension for yourself and those around you.

4.  Address and process your “Personal Truths.”  Addressing our unwanted feelings is a critical component of reducing the compulsion to control.  I devote an entire chapter on the subject (Embracing Your Personal Truths) in  Losing Control, Finding Serenity.

In simple terms, it is important to identify and process the negative feelings that compel us to control, such as fear, anger, anxiety, insecurity and the like.

For example, if you are feeling  anxious because of all the things you feel you need (or want) to do, rather than forging “past” your anxiety, take a few minutes to get in touch with it.  Start by trying to feel it internally, even physically.  Take some slow, deep breaths and really tap in to it.  “Embrace” it, if you will.   Also ask yourself how important is it that everything gets done “right now?” What terrible things might happen if you don’t?   The truth of the matter is that most things are not as important as we imagine or project them to be.

Though it may sound counterintuitive, so acknowledging and processing your stress and anxiety will lessen their “grip” over you.

If you try these “decontrol” tips I am confident you will experience greater enjoyment of the holiday season.   You might even look forward to them!

In closing, I would like to wish you a very peaceful holiday season.   And remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Are Control Freaks Healthy?

| September 14, 2011

“Are Alpha Males Healthy?” is the lead article in the Personal Journal section of the September 13 Wall Street Journal.    Alphas are “ambitious, assertive, confident and competitive,” says psychiatrist T.Byram Karasu in the article—all control-like behaviors.   It is thus pretty clear that most excessive controllers are Alpha males—and females.

The article cites extensive studies showing that Alphas experience far more stress than others and that their exhausting ways take a severe physical toll on them.

Are Excessive Controllers Healthy?

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let it Go  and on this blog I write extensively about the tolls that excessive controllers endure.   Here are just a few:

1.   They have very little peace and serenity because they devote so much time and energy in constantly trying to control and direct people and things that are beyond their real control.

2.   Their lives are constantly out of balance because they are so intensely focused on attaining their “perceived” needs, that they are unaware of the beauty that is all around them and unable to pursue and enjoy creative, recreational, and social involvements that could vastly improve their lives.

3.  Their close relationships lack trust and intimacy because friends and loved ones resent being told what is best for them and how they should act and be.

4.   They are burdened by the constant “what ifs” and “what might happens” that their fears stoke.

Control Less and be Healthier, Happier and Wiser!

This is perhaps a simplistic way of saying what I strongly believe and have personally experienced.    I have repeatedly found that the more I am able to let go of control in such vital areas of my life, such as parenting, love, work, relationships and creative endeavors, the greater joy, connection—and balance—that is bestowed upon me.

I thus encourage you to try letting go of control and enjoy the many rewards that will be yours.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Gop–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Gain Control by Losing Control

| May 19, 2011

 

Most people think they need to control people and events in order to get what they want, or think they want. This is quite understandable when you consider the fact that from the time we were young children we have been immersed in a control dominated environment. After all, who could be more controlling than our parents? Even our teachers and religious leaders are controlling in various ways. Certainly, politicians are controlling, frequently manipulating and distorting facts in order to persuade us or gain our support. We thus become very secure with control and the idea of letting go of it can be very unsettling—and for many, unthinkable!

What most controllers fail to recognize is that the more we try to control our lives, the more “out of control” our lives actually become.

Most of us are constantly striving for a sense of security in today’s hectic, complex world.   Controlling actions—whether by pressing, forcing, resisting, and the like– are the primary means we use to try to accomplish this goal.  What we fail to recognize, however, is that the harder we strive for security, the more insecure we become.

That beguiling philosopher, Alan Watts, expresses it best in his little jewel of a book, The Wisdom of Insecurity (Vintage Books, 1951):  “It must be obvious, from the start, that there is a contradiction in wanting to be perfectly secure in a universe whose very nature is momentariness and fluidity….To put it more plainly: the desire for security and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing.”

Losing control of our lives helps us gain control over our lives.

As I explain (and demonstrate through true life stories) in Losing Control, Finding Serenity the more we are able to let go of control in our lives—particularly fear driven control–the more freedom and contentment we will have.  Losing control frees life’s “natural currents” and allows us to engage those currents in an intuitive and expansive manner, resulting in stronger family bonds, enhanced love and intimacy, expanded creative horizons and less stress and anxiety at work and at home.   Thus, although we can never truly “gain” control over our lives,  we can “gain” the sense of well  being and contentment that comes with losing control in vital areas of our lives.

Take This Challenge

Not convinced?  Don’t take my word for it. I challenge you to give up control in the following ways over the next week and observe what happens:

a.  Listen to your children without voicing your opinion or offering advice of any kind.     Remember that they are different from you, and do and process things differently than you do.

b.   Don’t plan anything at all on a Saturday or Sunday (or a week day if you are able), and simply go with what unfolds naturally that day. Try to let go of all expectations and impose no time limits on your activities that day.

c.  Don’t plan or think too much about what you should do (or about the outcome) in your creative endeavors.  Just enjoy the process.  And don’t strive for perfection!

Please drop me a line and let me know how it went.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Letting Go of Control Resonates with People

| April 24, 2011

I am very pleased that the central theme of my book (Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go) about the importance (and benefits) of letting go of  excessive control in our lives is resonating with so many people. The book has received very positive reviews (see below) and my many interviews on diverse local, regional, and national radio stations have been lively, educational and at times provocative.   It is clear to me that more and more people are recognizing how excessive control–the kind which is primarily triggered by our “unwanted” feelings such as fear, anger, resentment, anxiety, insecurity and the like–significantly harms our lives and those of others.

Book Reviews

I am proud to share some of the book reviews.

The very popular blog Positively Present featured an extensive review in March.  Here is an edited portion of the review:

“Though I wasn’t sure what I would get out of the book initially, what I found was invaluable information on: how to reduce the control triggers of fear, anger, and resentment; how to make work less stressful and more profitable; how to find (and keep) love and achieve greater intimacy; and how to lessen the struggle with your children and strengthen communication. All of these topics were things I hadn’t really considered in relation to control, but reading Miller’s words really helped me to understand the many ways control plays a part in my life.

Miller offers excellent tips for how to remain aware of our own emotions and feelings. His advice — which I took immediately and started putting into practice in my own life — really does work. Small, simple acts can impact the way you are aware of how you are feeling and Miller’s work has served as a great reminder to me of how important it is to stay focused on what you are experiencing personally in order to control the need to control.

There are a lot of great books out there on self-help and I’m sure many are focused on this very same topic, but the guidance offered by Miller is this book is something I’d recommend to anyone struggling with control issues in his or her life. Even if it’s not you personally struggling with control, a lot can be learned from reading about what it’s like to have issues with control — and how you can help yourself and others cope with these issues.”

The Monthly Aspectarian new age newspaper published the following review in its April edition:

“At work they oversee every detail of every project and expect nothing less than perfection from their coworkers. At home they obsess over finding the “right” person. Then they criticize their lover or spouse for doing everything wrong. As parents they practice zero tolerance for their children’s preferred study practices, choice of friends, dress choices, and differing life views.

Sound familiar? Everyone knows the type: micromanagers, nitpickers, domestic despots. Yet most of us fail to recognize the signs of the compulsion to control in ourselves—or realize the toll of this behavior takes on career, family, friendships, and our own happiness. Losing Control, Finding Serenity pinpoints the dangers of excessive control, which goes far beyond setting limits and standards, in all aspects of life. It shows those of us who feel the pressure to control how to break free and reap unexpected gifts.

Sharing his journey of transformation from up-tight control driven attorney to life-loving person who works less and earns more, Daniel Miller reveals what happened when he finally decided to “surrender”: his blinders fell away, new opportunities emerged, and he experienced unprecedented, profound inner peace. Drawing on psychological insights, spiritual wisdom, and the real-life stories of acknowledged control freaks, he guides us through an honest inventory of our control patterns, leading us to discover this compulsion is provoked by deep-seated fear, anxiety, and insecurity, then aggravated by anger and resentments.

In a chaotic, unpredictable world that’s frequently beyond our control, Losing Control, Finding Serenity offers welcome encouragement and validation for going with the flow of life as it is: an ongoing, ever changing mystery.”

The New Age Retailer, the leading trade magazine for mind, body, and spirit retailers and book stores, published the following review in its just released May edition:

“This is a book about finding balance between control and surrender. It grew out of the author’s personal struggle to manage his life for maximum productivity and profit. As the glittering world he so doggedly built began to collapse around him, he looked for answers and found them in the places where he least expected to. Now he’s passing on the techniques he used to successfully rebuild his career and his life on a firmer, less controlled foundation. Down-to-earth and honest, the book is full of psychological and spiritual insight. It is also full of real world solutions for reconnecting with the natural flow of life and with our personal truth.  This book will be terrific for twelve-steppers who are just beginning to work with the program.”

The Impact of Control on Our Lives

I am thus encouraged and motivated to continue writing  about the impact of control on our lives and how we can let it go and enjoy the remarkable and unexpected gifts that come our way when  you do.  I again invite you to join the discourse by letting me know about your own “control” experiences at the Comment portion of this blog.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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Let Go of Anger by Accepting “What Is”

| March 29, 2011

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anger is as much of our daily lives as breakfast and dinner.    These hectic and impersonal times constantly provoke our anger, whether it is the frustration that comes from “conversing” with voice activated repairs and reservations attendants, the break down of our email provider’s servers, or being made late to an appointment because of heavy traffic.    For the most part, however, we are able to let go of such anger with the simple passage of time.

Of much greater concern, however, is deeply rooted anger and resentment.  Such imbedded angers breeds strong control responses that are harmful to others and us.     We become close minded and rigid.   We lash out and intimidate, withdraw and isolate, become obsessed and possessed.

Carrie Fisher says it best: “Resentment is like drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die”.

Process Your Anger

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity I stress the importance of timely processing our anger and resentment, and provide tools in which to do that.   For example, the next time your anger is provoked, take some time to address it.   Try to get in touch with what is really behind it.   Were you really harmed?   Or is it just your ego? Are you creating a mountain out of a molehill?

Also, don’t make assumptions about other people’s motives.  Make sure you know the facts; seek clarification, if necessary.   You’d be surprised at how much of our anger is based on misinformation.

Accept “What Is”

A highly effective method of processing anger is accepting the  “what is” of disturbing situations.    Doing so significantly diminishes our anger and the need to control.

Let me share a personal story that demonstrates what I mean.    Some years back, a real estate agent had placed a large, unauthorized “For Sublease” sign at the entrance to one of my properties.   I had known and done business with this agent for over twenty years, and he well knew that we never allowed such signage.

I was absolutely furious when I found out what he had done and was ready to sick the legal bloodhounds on  him.   Fortunately, I didn’t.  By then I knew better about reacting impulsively with strong control actions when angered.   Instead, I worked at processing my anger and hurt feelings.    I asked myself how important this “affront” really was.   I recognized that the only real harm was to my feelings, not to the property.   I then called the agent and asked him if he was resentful of me for some reason.   He said no, he simply felt he had a duty to represent his client and that duty took precedence over my interests.    I could at least understand the basis for his action, even if I disagreed with it.   My anger subsided and I allowed his sign to remain, and I didn’t lose any sleep over the matter.

Several days later, someone called the agent and asked to look at the sublease space.   The caller decided the space did not suit his needs but did find another space in our building that he liked.   The new tenant told me that he would never have stopped to look at the space in our building had it not been for the unauthorized sign.   Wow!  Who would have known?   Certainly not me.

The above case is no exception.  I have experienced time and again that when I am able to accept “what is”, the dynamics of an unsettling situation change, often dramatically.  Positive thoughts and energy replace negative ones.  Obstacles are lessened or removed.  Unexpected paths appear.

The next time your anger or resentment rears its fiery head try some of the above  tools.  Please drop me a line and let me know how it went.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny

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